Life is a rich and varied banquet. Rationalists that stay safe in only their rational minds are missing out on the full richness of being human. When I try to talk about this with my rationalist friends it is somewhat frustrating - I end up basically saying, yes, pizza is one of my favorite foods too, but there is so much else out there as well, why not do a little more exploring?
So what do I know now that I didn’t back on that picnic bench at University of Chicago?
I have learned how to bring up other parts of myself to deal with such a deep crisis as that young lady faced – this is one case where my rational mind would take a back seat. Simply being alive, even in pain is a good thing that needs celebrating. But almost certainly the core of her problem was self-hate and serious depression. I now know a lot about self-hate, and suicide is the ultimate expression of self-hate. The path back from suicide is learning to love oneself, and that almost inevitably touches upon what I call spirituality. I also know about crushing depression, and the solution is to recognize that it is a whole body problem, and needs a whole body treatment that includes exercise, diet, mood enhancers (like St. John’s Wort or even possibly prescription drugs), a change in thinking, and of course spiritual work. It wasn’t so much a case that Kant, the genius rationalist philosopher, was wrong, but simply that what he had to say wasn’t terribly useful in this case.
The reason I felt so conflicted during our conversation was that I had been following a jealous God. Strict rationalists, along with many Christians, believe that they are following the one True faith, and everyone else is just a deluded infidel. But what I didn’t know at the time is that it is possible to make deep use of reason without being such a narrow, intolerant fundamentalist. It turns out that there are many paths to Truth, and rationality is just one of them. I’ve learned to welcome and honor all of my mind/body faculties. When I live in balance with my heart, mind, and spirit, I find my life to be most fulfilling. When I get out of balance, it is ultimately unhealthy. That is why I ultimately left both the University of Chicago, and the Zen monastery - both were very useful training grounds, but both were in the end very unbalanced.